i already hear my dad disowning me
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
