True but thats because hes a fetus.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
