somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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