I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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