my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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