Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
