So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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