Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
zippers are such a cool invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize