DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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