I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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