Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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