I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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