I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst night to have a conscience
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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