You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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