SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
