Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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