And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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