real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
