Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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