i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
