He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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