i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
