You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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