Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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