She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
