I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
