I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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