he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
