so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
