dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
