'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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