whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
