i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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