Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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