i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
