You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Text me some of your sweat
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