you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
