On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
