I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I am naked and annoyed.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
