I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
