After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
