just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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