so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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