my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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