Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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