im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
