6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm