Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.

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  (407): Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007. http://tfl.nu/n4mi
  Replies (9) Good night (3219) Bad night (816)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.

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  (240): Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names. http://tfl.nu/nfcq
  Replies (26) Good night (1130) Bad night (5306)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?

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  (920): did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve? http://tfl.nu/wzep
  Replies (3) Good night (1117) Bad night (2885)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.

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  (208): Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately. http://tfl.nu/dsn6
  Replies (2) Good night (1771) Bad night (1265)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music

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  (+44): could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music http://tfl.nu/hszo
  Replies (7) Good night (2493) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.

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  (225): thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm. http://tfl.nu/s8ta
  Replies (4) Good night (2048) Bad night (916)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.

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  (425): I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing. http://tfl.nu/l5kn
  Replies (9) Good night (1029) Bad night (2559)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers

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  (864): I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers http://tfl.nu/0wmu
  Replies (5) Good night (1675) Bad night (701)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.

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  (250): You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians. http://tfl.nu/wcxi
  Replies (8) Good night (1703) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.

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  (860): The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop. http://tfl.nu/d7w3
  Replies (3) Good night (3195) Bad night (618)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg

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  (774): did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise (908): omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg http://tfl.nu/l4h8
  Replies (5) Good night (1337) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?

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  (516): Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji? http://tfl.nu/gce4
  Replies (4) Good night (464) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"

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  (417): All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?" http://tfl.nu/7ine
  Replies (4) Good night (1040) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.

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  (503): It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds. http://tfl.nu/d7uw
  Replies (0) Good night (656) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.

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  (317): No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30. http://tfl.nu/14gy
  Replies (0) Good night (620) Bad night (352)

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