she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
