That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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