Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
