They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
