Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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