So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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