Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
