just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
