I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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