ya dads aren't the best wingmen
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
