I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
