your thong is hanging out like whoa
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
