but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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