Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
