You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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