Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
