I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
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Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
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That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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