So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
